May 10, 2004 (Friends Special)

                                                  R.I.P.
                   Friends (September 22, 1994-May 6, 2004)

    I don't remember being that upset after Seinfeld's series finale, but I was really bummed out that
September when that hole in the Thursday night line-up was filled by the forgettable sit-com Jessie (not
even Christina Applegate could save that show) Saying goodbye to Friends is going to be just as tough.
     The show definitely lost alot of its fastball over the years, but I stuck with it because I pretty much
watched it from the beginning. It took me from the last 2 years of college, from Baskin-Robbins to the
Post, from going out to Donovan's after it was over, to saying put for ER, it's been a constant.
     I watched Survivor the first summer, but refused to watch it after they put it up against Friends out of
loyalty. For a while Survivor kicked its ass in the ratings. Then September 11th happened, and when the
contry needed to laugh, it turned to Friends. And besides Chandler and Monica, they delivered the
goods. In fact the show was going to end in May 2003, but because things were going so well, they
decided to make it an even 10 years.
Weekly Mail rates the Friends, from my favorite to my most hated

1) JOSEPH FRANCIS (Joey) TRIBIANI- Despite the fact that he acually got more stupid as the show
progressed, Joey was by far the best of the Friends. From wondering if he would need to convert his
money to go to Vermont, to memorizng the V encyclpedia, to flipping out when a hot babe took food
off his plate, Joey never ceased to make us laugh.

2) PHOEBE BUFFAY- Like Joey a complete airhead. When Chandler asked "Guess who's back in show
business?" she answered Lorne Greene, though he had been dead for almost 10 years. Her most famous
role was carrying her half brother's triplets. She also claimed to talk to dead people before John Edward
made a TV show about it, got a cookie recipe from her grandmother who got it from a French cook
Nestle Tolhousse (or Nestle Tollhouse) and as a homeless 15 year old punk, mugged Ross.

3) RACHEL K. GREEN- Yes I know she could be a whiny spoiled brat, but Rachel sans Ross, had some
very funny moments. If you can get past all the hype about her hair and her marriage to Brad Pitt,
Jennifer Aniston is one of the best comedic actresses in America.

4) CHANDLER M. BING- For the four seasons of Friends, Chandler was the funniest character on TV,
with the exception maybe of Geroge Costanza and Homer Simpson. When Rachel burst into the room
saying guess what and Chandler responded "Let me guess, the fifth dentist caved and now they all chew
Trident", I was for better or wrose hooked.
    But once he hooked up with Monica, he turned into TV's biggest whimp. And it wasn't even remotely
funny. Sure he still came up with good lines, but everything was overshadowed by his utter fear of
Monica. That wasn't a marriage, that was a death sentence.

5) ROSS GELLER Was once voted one of the most hated TV characters of all time by FHM Magazine,
for his whininess, but he had his share of funny moments, like when he wore leather pants and couldn't
get them off, or when he used a whole tube of tooth whitener, or when he went for the spray on tan.
Otherwise yes, this 3 time loser was a whiny woe-is-me weenee who I'm surprised didn't drive his other 2
wives to lesbianism as well.


6)LAST AND DEFINITELY LEAST- MONICA GELLER-BING.
    The conclusion of Seinfeld saw Jerry, George, Elaine and Kramer end up in the slammer for violating
Latham, Mass' Good Samaritan policy. Monica should be right there with them. Her crimes against
humanity include

1) Talking Phoebe out of donating wedding money to charity. (Screw the kids I believe was her line)

2) Telling the adoption agency that she was an Ordained minister, despite the fact that she was Jewish to
ensure she would get a baby.

3) Getting Phoebe to dump poor David (Hank Azaria) who was pining for her in Russia, so she would
instead marry Mike (Paul Rudd)

4) Denying her friends Thanksgiving dinner because they were late.

5) Making Rachel and Phoebe feel as if they were being sent to fight the Taliban rather than being
bridesmaids at her wedding.
6) Kept interupting Phoebe and Mike's wedding rehearsal dinnner because they "were going over the time
limits"

7) Called Phoebe and Mike "animals" for having sex at 4 in the afternoon, but was so jealous of Rachel
having a baby, that she demanded Chandler have sex with her in the hospital while Rachel was giving
birth to Emma

8) Turning Chandler into a complete and utter ball of mush

We had a friend like Monica once. We called her the General

     SPOILER ALERT As with most finales, the final Friends didn't live up to it's hype. It was pretty much
a "lets wrap up all the loose ends" show. It was also very predictable. The only twist being that Monica
and Chandler ended up with twins. Ross and Rachel got back together again, and thank God we don't
have to watch that whole soap opera any more. Phoebe and Mike want to have kids (monkey see,
monkey do) The Post kept writing that one of the twists was that the world found out that Phoebe drove
a cab. I insisted that she always had the cab and my editor told me to "get a life"  And although no
mention was made of it on the show, Joey is on his way to Hollywood. His spinoff show (coincedntally
enough called Joey) will debut in September in the same time slot as Freinds. So for those of us who
need to be weened off Friends, this is our chance.

I read somewhere that Kelsey Grammer is interested in doing a spinoff on Frasier, which was a spinoff
on Cheers. Please. I think 22 years of Cheers is more than enough.

Now the only shows I watch consistently are NYPD Blue and ER. Blue ends next year and ER could very
well be next.

Regular Weekly Mail returns tomorrow