June 21, 2004

Happy Fathers Day!

   Saturday night I was sent out to Brooklyn to cover a fatal accident. A girl was run over by a car. It was
really sad, it happened in a tight-knit Jewish community. Nobody really wanted to talk. One woman said
to me "I bet you're used to seeing things like this" I assured her that I wasn't, nor would I ever be.  
    To cheer myself up, I headed back to the city and hit Social for the first time in 3 weeks. There was a
new bartender there who was very nice. I felt bad for her because they tossed her right into the fire. She
was a bit quiet at first but Alan told her to take care of me. (she didn't, but she was much more chatty)
    I also ended up meeting some girls from Milwaukee. What the hell? Before Danielle and Melissa's
Christmas party, the only people I knew from Milwaukee were Laverne, Shirley, the Cunningham's and the
Fonz. Now since December, I've met Katherine and now 3 more.
    I was at the bar when one girl walked up to me and said "Hi! What are you doing here alone?" I gave
her my sob story, and she pulled up a stool and gave me hers. She was nice, and fairly attractive. Her
name was Trish. She told me her and her friend were visiting their friend from college who had moved out
here from Milwaukee. I was convinced that krazy Katherine was somehow involved in all this, but then the
two friends came over. The travel partner was Patti, who was really cute, but not nearly as pretty as
Laura, the girl living in New York. (She lives in Astoria. The coincidences are uncanny)
     After a drink or two Laura was looking to head home. I needed to go back to the Post and get my
stuff. So I bade them farewell and ordered another beer. As soon as I got it, they called last call. I nursed
my beer, then headed for the exits. When I got outside, Patti and Trish were hanging out and Laura was
talking to a guy. Trish was PO'ed. "She's the one who wanted to go home."  Eventually they started
walking, but Laura wanted to eat. So I took them to Ray's pizza on 49th and Broadway. At first I didn't
want anything, but I can't stay in a pizzeria and not get pizza, especially after a few pops. So I got a slice
each for me and Trish.
    After that I again said goodnight, and then I shot over to the Post and got my belongings. Then I ran
back. I heard the train coming as I was running down the stairs. I couldn't believe they were still there. I
also couldn't understand why I was so determined to catch up with them. I was only really interested in
Laura, and the other two were heading home on Monday. None of them seemed eager to party on, and
to be honest with Father's Day and everything, I really didn't want to either. But I guess traveling with
three chicks is better than traveling alone, which I usually do anyway.
    So I got on the N train and handed them copies of the Post I had grabbed on the way out. I rode on
the train till it got to Queensboro Plaza. This time when I said goodbye, Trish gave me a kiss. Not a very
long one, but long enough to go in the record books. She called me Sunday night while I was at work,
but when I called her back I got her voicemail. She never told me where they were. In any event, I
considering moving to Milwaukee. Get myself a Cheese eating Schlitz guzzling babe.

    Paris Hilton was on the Late Show with David Letterman the other night, and she did nothing to dispel
my characterization of her as a Brainless Whore. (Weekly Mail December 8, 2003) On the contrary, she
enforced it, while also confirming everyone suspicions that she is also a spoiled rotten beeotch. These
were my personal faves from the show:

1) Told Dave that she likes to leave parties at 2 AM because "only guys who are desperate stay past 2"
Makes me feel good when I stroll into Social at 2 AM.

2) On her new show The Simple Life 2, she has to drive a Winnebego. Which sux for poor Paris because
she's "used to driving a Porsche" She's 22 years old.

3) She also told Dave that on the first simple life, the kid that she supposedly liked was "just for the
show" When Dave asked if he came out to see her in LA after the show was over, she said "are you OK?
I HAVE a boyfriend" Her boyfriend by the way is washed up has been who never was Backstreet Boy
Nick Carter.

In that December WM, I said that she was hot. Nisha you were right, and I retract. I wouldn't touch her
with a 10 foot pole. She should have a cheeseburger every once in a while and lay off the smack.

Were my eyes deceiving me, or was that Jose Reyes playing for the Mets over the weekend?

I hope you are enjoying the 1994 retro pieces I'm doing. Tomorrow I'll send out the June 14, 1994 special.

Happy birthday Emily Cody (Monday) Caroline and Bernadette (Friday), Bernadette, one of these days I
gotta see your little Kayla. I got to see Grace the other day, and she has her mom's good looks and her
dad's sense of humor.  
Everyone else, have a great week
Wild Bill