June 29, 2004

G'day

    Actually had one of my proudest moments in my 7 month newspaper career on Thursday night. One
of the copy editors was reading a story about a judge in Oklahoma who was caught playing with his
bearded bagpipe while on the bench. Can you imagine going before a judge, who has the fate of your
life in one hand, and his pecker in the other?  
   We were all cracking up, but I asked if I could suggest a headline. The chief copy editor, Barry, said
sure and I said how about "here cums the judge"?
    The guys loved it. It wasn't the headline, they used it as a photo caption, and they changed it to the
Flip Wilson version (Here come da judge) But the best part was that the chief managing editor and the
editor in chief, two men not noted for their sense of humor, laughed at my contribution.
I hate to toot my own horn...
what the hell? I love tooting my own horn. beep beep baby!

http://www.nypost.com/seven/06252004/news/nationalnews/23780.htm

News Item: Michael Moore

    I watched Bowling for Columbine last night, because I am planning on seeing Fahrenheit 9/11.
Surprised? Well, I've been bashing this weasel for months now, and I want to be fair and give the devil
his due if its warranted.
    Now a couple of weeks ago, I remarked how Michael Moore had gotten a standing ovation at Cannes
for Fahrenheit 9/11, and how appropriate it was that an Anti-American film was cheered by the French. A
couple of you wrote back to me, saying that I confused anti-Bush with anti-American. Maybe so, and
when I see the movie, I'll be able to say for sure.
Bowling for Columbine? Now THAT was anti-American.
    And I'm not suggesting that everything that he said in the movie was wrong. America is not perfect.
Our government, and our people have made some huge mistakes. There is a huge discrepancy between
the haves and have-nots. Enron, Tyco, all those big shot corporations are run by scumbags. I'll give him
all that.
    But Moore does everything in BFC but tell us to pack our bags and move to Canada. You can leave
your door unlocked, hell you can even own a gun, but no worries, because unlike the big bad USA, you
won't get killed up there. Or mugged for that matter.
    And hey, I love Canada. Two of the best times I ever had were my trips to Montreal (in 1995 and 1996)
and Toronto (in 2000) And trust me, there were slums and homeless people in both cities. In Montreal I
had to ask a homeless man where Peele Street was, the block where our bus was leaving to go back to
our ski resort 50 miles away. In Toronto, there were guys selling drugs just around the block from our
hotel. Still, it's a great place    to visit.
    Fahrenheit 9/11 is an all out attack on the Bush administration. Moore makes no bones about that. But
to his credit (and I stand corrected in my previous bashing of Moore) he takes his fair share of shots at
Bill Clinton. At least twice in BFC, he reminds the viewers that April 20, 1999, in addition to being the day
of the Columbine High School massacre, was also the heaviest day of bombing in the Kosovo war. He
also slams Clinton for hitting the Sudan in 1998 after the embassy bombings in Kenya and
Tanzania. Now I never did understand why he bombed the Sudan when it was obvious that Al-Qaeda was
stationed in Afghanistan (which he also bombed that day), and the massacres that were taking place in
Kosovo called for military intervention, I still applaud Moore for not being tied to a political party.      
     The mainstream magazines have suggested that because of our struggles in Iraq, Moore has gone
from villain to hero regarding his remarks at the Oscars in 2003. Nonsense. He's still an ass for doing
that. People watch these shows to get their minds off reality, not to be bombarded with it. Besides, he
ruined what was otherwise one of the coolest gestures I've ever seen. He invited all the other filmmakers
who were up for Documentary Oscars that year, to come up and accept the award with him in a show of
support for all documentary filmmakers. Nobody talks about that.
    Just like nobody talks about how this "man of the people" flies around in a Lear Jet and lives in a
luxury apartment in Manhattan. I wouldn't call him a hypocrite, but definitely a paradox.
      I liked the idea of Roger and Me, especially in this day and age, with all the scandal involving Enron,
and Halliburton and Martha Stewart. Also knowing many people who lost their jobs due to "outsourcing"
    And as a film, I enjoyed BFC. It was very well done, and it did make me think, which is what a
documentary is supposed to do. On some issues, I agreed with him, and on some I thought he was
wrong. And he made America out to be a real sh-tty place to live. He's dead wrong about that. I still don't
see anyone looking to get out, but millions still trying to get in. America must be
doing SOMETHING right
      Of course Fahrenheit 9/11 is a tricky one for me, having supported the war at first (and in some
cases still) but frustrated by the lack of a game plan and the depleting of resources needed to fight Al-
Qaeda. When I go to see the film, I will go in with as open a mind as I possibly can. I promise.

 Sports: The Subway Series

    As pissed off as I am at the Mets for getting their doors blown off by the Yankees over the
weekend, I can't really complain. Just by winning on Friday night, the Mets made things better than last
year, when they lost all six games to the Yankees. I know its a sad state of affairs when I'm grateful just
for not gettin swept.
     My big complaint over the weekend was the broadcasting by my fellow FOX employees Joe Buck
and Tim McCarver. Now you guys know I usually stick up for both these guys. I believe Buck has the
best big game voice in sports, while McCarver is still the best color guy in the baseball.
      But Saturday, they made themselves impossible to defend. Buck felt it necessary to sing Happy
Birthday to Derek Jeter, which is something I'd expect a chump like John Sterling to do. Then McCarver
began explaining that when a pitcher slaps his glove against his leg after he gets his sign from the
catcher, it means that he wants to throw a different pitch. For example, the catcher puts down one finger
for a fastball, the pitcher slaps his glove against his leg once it means he wants to throw a curveball (two
fingers) or a change up (three fingers, two glove slaps). Interesting right? Of course
    Except that McCarver as he tends to do, kept beating the point to death, and then was proven wrong.
I like a play by play man who challenges his color guy, but I was praying that Buck would leave this one
alone. He didn't.
     It would get worse. McCarver was talking about the night that Roger Clemens beaned Mike Piazza at
Yankee Stadium. McCarver came up with the craziest explanation I ever heard. He said that because it
was a day/night doubleheader and the teams had played one game and traveled cross town and all that
crap, that Piazza was weary and would have gotten out of the way of the pitch had be been fresh.
Really?
     Piazza was out like a light when he got hit, and missed that year's All Star Game. That pitch was
meant to hit him, there was no getting out of the way, even if he was on a full day of rest. I haven't heard
such utter crap in my life. Just more Yankee apologies.

Happy Anniversary to Timmy and Kelly Tubs (Saturday)

Everyone else have a great week
Bill