March 7, 2006

Editors Note: I wrote most of this Friday afternoon at the Watermark Hotel. However, because
the internet connection was poor and kept crapping out, I had to finish it up and send it
from here in NY.



SAN ANTONIO---- Howdy!

    Well, so far it has been an absolute blast down here in the land of the Alamo.
For one thing, the weather has been phenomenal. 88 on Wednesday, 87 on Thursday,
and 76 today. They have threatened rain, but not a drop so far. We've been
walking around in shorts. Not to rub it in or anything.
We got in on Wednesday and drove from Austin to San Antonio. That gave us the
chance to see some of Texas. There's not a whole lot of difference between I-35 and
the LIE. People drive like maniacs down here too. One thing that's different is
the gas prices, just a tad over 2 bucks a gallon.
    The hotel we're staying at is ubeliveable. The thing I'm going to remember about
this place is how good it smells. From the time you walk into the lobby, to the
elevator, the hallways, the fragrance is outstanding And that helps, especially
after eating some of the Tex-Mex they have down here....
But I digress.
    The hotel has a pool on the roof, and a hot tub. The hot tub isn't really
necessary because the sun hits right down on the pool, making that plenty warm.
There is some French Canadian firm having a convention here at the hotel, but
they seem to do nothing but hang out at the pool all day. Maybe they are the
French-Canadian version of Hotels.com, otherwise I don't know how productive
they are. To me, they seem to be doing a whole lot of nothing.
    We had the honeymoon package for the first night, which included a spa treatment
and a massage. Remembering my first experience with a massage, I was somewhat
hesitant. But this time I had one where they put me in a hot tub and rubbed me
down. It was intense
    Every once in awhile, the messuse would put an ice cold cloth on my head to cool
me off. That was a relief. These massages were supposed to relax you, but it was
hard to relax with how hot the water was. When she cooled it down, it was much
better. Then when it was over, you felt like you were buzzed. They put you in a
room with a glass of water and some grapes, then they let you sleep.
    Now our hotel is right along the famous Riverwalk, which is very hard to explain
unless you come down here and see it for yourself. The best way to describe it
is a series of bars, clubs and restaurants, except instead of a street next to
the sidewalk, its a river. I can"t believe that people don"t come staggering
out of some of these bars and plop right into the river. The sidewalks
themselves are pretty narrow. But everyone seems to be able to navigate them
pretty well.  
    We spent most of Thursday on the Riverwalk. We took a boat tour of the river, complete with
a history of San Antonio. Our guide was very good and very funny. When he showed us the San
Antonio courthouse he told us that his grandfather, father, son and himself all paid fines there.
       For dinner on Thursday, we went to a Mexican Restaurant down in Market Square. Market
square is a series of shops and restaurants about a 1/2 mile off the Riverwalk. The food wasn't
bad, but they constantly had people coming up to you selling stuff. Especially the musicians. I
sounded a bit like the editors at the Post at one point. "Go Away!"  "Not Now!"  "Make that so
that I can't hear it." Finally we let a couple of guys play a song for us. The idea was that you were
supposed to feel like you were in Mexico.Except here you can drink the water.
        Then we went bar hopping along the Riverwalk Our first stop, we felt right at home. It was
the first night of Waxy O'Connor's, a bar that reminded me somewhat of the old Bloom's on
42nd and Roosevelt Avenue before it burnt down. Waxy's is one of the very few Irish bars along
the Riverwalk.
        Our next stop, a big mistake, was Coyote Ugly, we were one and done in there. We then
went to Durty Nellie's, where they had a piano player taking requests. That place was great. The
piano player had a great voice and he played alot of good stuff, including the Army and Marine
fight songs, Johnny Cash's Ring of Fire,  John Mellincamp's Jack and Diane, and again to make
us feel at home, The Wild Rover. (in a sign that we were definitely not in Woodside or
Rockaway, he had to explain that we had to clap 4 times after no, nay never.)
        Tara was dying to go to a place called Howl at the Moon, which had "dueling pianos"  That
place was alot of fun. They had two pianos facing each other, and each would play a request
from the audience. Everyone was invited to sing along. I found something kind of strange. At
one point they were playing U2's "With or Without You:", and I found myself singing along with
a Texas accent. "Ah caynt leve, weth or wethout you." What can I say, that's how they talk down
here.
        That reminds me, on Thursday we were having lunch, when some woman started choking
on a piece of bread. Tara was going over to help her, when this huge guy in a cowboy hat said
"You just relax little lady, I'm a gonna take care of this."
So he went over to the woman who was choking and asked her "Kin ya swaller?" She shook her
head no, then he asked her, "Kin ya breathe?" again, she shook her head no.
Next thing you know, he stood the lady up, lifted up her skirt and ran his tounge up and down
her butt. Startled, she coughed the bread right up and started breathing normally again.
He came back over to us and said, "My gawd, whoever invented that hind-lick maneuver sure
was a smart fella."

ACTING!
BRILLIANT!
THANK YOU!

Ok here are some news bits from down here

News Item: Kinky Friedman for Governor

    A couple of you wanted me to check out how Kinky Friedman, acclaimed author and former
lead singer of the Texas Jewboys,was doing in his bid to unseat Texas Governor Rick Perry.
Unfortunately for Kinky, not so good.
    There was a news report down here that said that Kinky needed over 45,000 signatures on a
petition, and that the signatures had to come from people who don't vote in the primaries that are
scheduled this month. If there's a runoff, that delays the start of signature gathering even more.
Either way, Kinky has until May 11th to get 45,000 signatures of people who don't vote in
primaries. That's a tall order anywhere, in Texas, its even harder.
    But ol' Kink isn't giving up without a fight. He's got his team of signature collectors at the
ready, and he is bringing in top gun managers from other independent campaigns all over the
country.
    Still its an uphill battle. Texas law seems to discourage independents from running for state
office. Which is why we're all rooting for Kinky Friedman to buck the system down here.

Sports: San Antonio to hook Marlins?:

    One of the big sports stories down here was the possibility of the Florida Marlins, they of the
two World Titles followed by two fire sales, of relocating here in the next few years. The Marlins
have been unable to secure public financing for a new domed stadium in the Miami area, so now
they are shopping around for a new home. In addition to San Antonio, the Marlins are looking at
Portland, Oregon, and Norfolk, Virginia.
    San Antonio wants to put together a stadium financing deal similar to what they did to build
the Spurs a new arena in 2002. But the Spurs themselves, believe it or not, are the ones voicing
the biggest objection.
    The Spurs are the only show in town down here. And everywhere you go, there are Spurs hats,
shirts, shorts, etc. There are Spurs bumper stickers all over the place, on all the newspaper and
vending machines. The Spurs are afraid that the city isn't big enough for 2 major league sports
franchises. I say nonsense.
    It's a plenty big city that also reaches out to the Austin area, they'll have no trouble drawing,
provided that they build a retractable roof or domed stadium. And nobody's going to say "Oh,
well I'm going to stop rooting for the Spurs because there's a baseball team in town now." At
least I don't think they would.
    The man behind the push to get a team down here is County Judge Nelson Wolff. Judge
Wolff was a pitcher in the Mexican League back in the day, and is hot to get a Major League
Baseball team here. Other city and state officials are more eagar to get an NFL team to play in
the AlamoDome, but with the Saints going back to New Orleans, and the NFL not expected to
expand, they may be out of luck there. The Marlins may be their best chance to land another
sports team.

On Friday,  I'll wrap up the trip, and get back to the news of the day.
Happy Birthday Ed "Auggie" DePuy. (wednesday)
Everyone Else Have a Great Week
Wild Bill