Super Tuesday Flashback
Originally written February 5th
SUPER TUESDAY- So get this... I got up at 5:30 AM on Tuesday so I could go vote before I went to work. Our polling place is the Senior Citizen's Center on 70th and 1st. Oh how I pined for the days of PS 229 after this fiasco.
First I had to ask the two geezers at the front which district I was in. When I told them I lived on York Avenue, they looked at me as if I told them I lived on Mars. I'm sure this was a combination of me being half asleep and them being about 90 years old each. Fair play to 'em though, they sent me to the correct booth.
Sort of.
I got to where my district was, and lo and behold, I was the first one there. The lady working the poll was sitting there reading the newspaper. I waited for her to look up and acknowledge me, but she just kept reading. I finally got her attention and she said in her Linda Richman-esque voice "Oh are you here to vote?" No, I came here to meet women. "Yes I'm here to vote."So she signed me in and told me I could go ahead. Now a couple of things I need to discuss here. Number one, I had never voted in a primary before. Until I got married and moved in with Tara, I had been neither a Democrat or Republican. So I missed out on all the primaries. When I changed the address on my license, I had the option of registering for one of the major parties. Because I had been catching so much heat from the liberals amongst you (and elsewhere) plus figuring that I would have a chance to vote for my favorite candidate (John McCain- who hadn't taken his nosedive yet) I registered as a Republican. And now here it was Super Tuesday, two years later, and my plan was coming to fruition. I walked to the booth and pulled the lever for McCain. And it wouldn't go down. Neither would the lever for Mitt Romney or Mike Huckabee or Ron Paul. But I could vote for John Edwards or Barack Obama or Hillary Clinton. They had the booth set up as if I was a Democrat. Oh the horror. Well not really, but I wanted my vote to count. So I stuck my head out the curtain and said "Excuse me" Linda Richman looked up from her paper and yelled "Whatsamatta you don't know how you use the machine? Hey, can somebody help him out? He doesn't know how to use the machine." Then another old man came over and said "Ya don't know how ta use da machine?" This was turning into The Wizard of Oz scene where the Munchkins were telling Dorothy to follow the yellow brick road" "He doesn't know how to use the machine!"He doesn't know how to use the machine!"He doesn't doesn't doesn't doesn't know how to use the machine." At this point I would have rather they used another scene from the Wizard of Oz, the one where they say "Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain." Right before I went in to the booth, I noticed that next to my name it said I had been a registered voter since 1991. In other words, I've been voting almost half the time I've been alive. I KNOW HOW TO USE A VOTING MACHINE!But I was sick of dealing with these imbeciles. I don't know if my vote counted, but I joined Ted Kennedy, Oprah Winfrey and Ray and voted for Barack Obama. Had John McCain lost by one vote, I may have had to move back to Woodside, but as it ends up, McCain won easily without my help, and whether my vote for Obama counted or not, it didn't help as Hillary Clinton took NY by a wide margin. Hillary won the big states, like NY and California and New Jersey, but Obama won more states and almost as many delegates. So Super Tuesday didn't decide the race as it usually does. And that makes me happy. It serves all those states right that pushed their primaries and Caucuses up that now other states are going to decide this race
SUPER TUESDAY- So get this... I got up at 5:30 AM on Tuesday so I could go vote before I went to work. Our polling place is the Senior Citizen's Center on 70th and 1st. Oh how I pined for the days of PS 229 after this fiasco.
First I had to ask the two geezers at the front which district I was in. When I told them I lived on York Avenue, they looked at me as if I told them I lived on Mars. I'm sure this was a combination of me being half asleep and them being about 90 years old each. Fair play to 'em though, they sent me to the correct booth.
Sort of.
I got to where my district was, and lo and behold, I was the first one there. The lady working the poll was sitting there reading the newspaper. I waited for her to look up and acknowledge me, but she just kept reading. I finally got her attention and she said in her Linda Richman-esque voice "Oh are you here to vote?" No, I came here to meet women. "Yes I'm here to vote."So she signed me in and told me I could go ahead. Now a couple of things I need to discuss here. Number one, I had never voted in a primary before. Until I got married and moved in with Tara, I had been neither a Democrat or Republican. So I missed out on all the primaries. When I changed the address on my license, I had the option of registering for one of the major parties. Because I had been catching so much heat from the liberals amongst you (and elsewhere) plus figuring that I would have a chance to vote for my favorite candidate (John McCain- who hadn't taken his nosedive yet) I registered as a Republican. And now here it was Super Tuesday, two years later, and my plan was coming to fruition. I walked to the booth and pulled the lever for McCain. And it wouldn't go down. Neither would the lever for Mitt Romney or Mike Huckabee or Ron Paul. But I could vote for John Edwards or Barack Obama or Hillary Clinton. They had the booth set up as if I was a Democrat. Oh the horror. Well not really, but I wanted my vote to count. So I stuck my head out the curtain and said "Excuse me" Linda Richman looked up from her paper and yelled "Whatsamatta you don't know how you use the machine? Hey, can somebody help him out? He doesn't know how to use the machine." Then another old man came over and said "Ya don't know how ta use da machine?" This was turning into The Wizard of Oz scene where the Munchkins were telling Dorothy to follow the yellow brick road" "He doesn't know how to use the machine!"He doesn't know how to use the machine!"He doesn't doesn't doesn't doesn't know how to use the machine." At this point I would have rather they used another scene from the Wizard of Oz, the one where they say "Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain." Right before I went in to the booth, I noticed that next to my name it said I had been a registered voter since 1991. In other words, I've been voting almost half the time I've been alive. I KNOW HOW TO USE A VOTING MACHINE!But I was sick of dealing with these imbeciles. I don't know if my vote counted, but I joined Ted Kennedy, Oprah Winfrey and Ray and voted for Barack Obama. Had John McCain lost by one vote, I may have had to move back to Woodside, but as it ends up, McCain won easily without my help, and whether my vote for Obama counted or not, it didn't help as Hillary Clinton took NY by a wide margin. Hillary won the big states, like NY and California and New Jersey, but Obama won more states and almost as many delegates. So Super Tuesday didn't decide the race as it usually does. And that makes me happy. It serves all those states right that pushed their primaries and Caucuses up that now other states are going to decide this race
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